Mad Lex: Beyond Woobiedome
by Crossbow
Summary: What we wish Lex would say to Clark. Not slash. This time.
1. Lex

Disclaimer: Don't own Smallville, Tina Turner, Max Max, or the word "Woobie." I did own Mel Gibson, but I forgot to renew my title.

Dedication: To Lex's Mafia. You know who you are.

**Author's note: **I never intended for this to be a finished story. However, two years after my last update I'm still getting requests to "wrap it up," so I will. But first, I'm updating the earlier chapters with some minor changes.

Explanations: "Woobie" is a term meaning someone needs a hug. Particularly Lex. "CoCK" stands for "Chamber of Clark Kent," the room in the mansion where Lex keeps all his Clark Kent memorabilia – er, I mean, all his meteor rock stuff.

When: Season 3 finale. Lex has just discovered Clark in the CoCK.  
Where: They are still in the CoCK.  
Why: Because he's beautiful when he's angry.

* * *

_  
We don't need another hero  
__We don't need to know the way home  
__All we want is life beyond  
__Woobiedome_

"This friendship is over!"

That stung a bit, but Lex never lost his balance. "You know, this is a bit rich coming from you, Clark. You haven't been honest with me since the day we met!"

Clark turned and began pacing. "And clearly I was right not to be, since you've been stalking me this whole time!"

Luthors, on the other hand, did not pace. "I have not been stalking you. I told you, I stopped trying to figure out what you were hiding two years ago – around the time I shot the one person who could have told me what's going on, as you may recall."

"Really. Then what's with the giant picture of me?"

Well, that was a good question. "I … just like looking at it," Lex explained, trying not to sound completely lame.

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Yes. Do you not have a mirror?"

Clark stopped and stared at Lex. Taking advantage of Clark's confusion, Lex changed the subject. "And by the way, what are you doing here? I know you could have broken the door down, but it's not damaged. How did you get in?"

"Your father – "

"Oh, so you went to see my father. And I suppose he gave you the key. And of course you don't need my permission to come snooping around my _home_, since it technically belongs to LuthorCorp, and Lionel gave you the key. Well, that all makes sense now."

"You know, Lex, Lionel may be evil, but he's been more honest with me that you have!"

"You think so? Was he honest when he sent you into the lab and then had you stuck in that isolation tank? Do you think he gave you the key to this room out of his altruistic desire for you to have all the facts? Do you have _any idea_ how much funding he's put into researching you?"

"No," said Clark. "Why, is it more funding that you put into researching me?"

"I keep telling you, I'm done with that. For the last two years I've been trying to protect these big secrets of yours without even knowing what they are, and you repay me by breaking into the one place in my house you know I don't want you to go."

Clark shook his head. "Sorry, Lex, I just can't believe any of that. There have just been too many lies."

Lex stood away from the doorway. "You know what, Clark? That was my best shot. If you still don't trust me, get the hell out of my house. And give me that key first."


	2. Clark

Clark stormed out of the mansion. Of course he didn't trust Lex! How could he possibly, after seeing that room? And after all the times he'd saved Lex's ass.

On the other hand, if he hadn't saved Lex's ass so many times, the room wouldn't exist. But what was he supposed to do, let Lex get killed? And it wasn't his fault Lex was in mortal danger every week or so.

Well, it sort of was. Most of the problems in Smallville were caused by the meteor rocks that had arrived with him. But he hadn't been the one that programmed the spaceship to go to Earth, and the person who _had_ programmed it most likely had no way of knowing what effect Krypton's debris would have on humans.

Clark took a moment to wonder whether livestock and crops had also been affected, and if not, why not? It would certainly explain those strange looks their oldest cow, Bessie, had given him. It might also explain why Bessie had lived so long … no, better not to follow that train of thought.

Besides, Lex needed rescuing from his own father more often than from meteor freaks. Or from one of Lex's own wives. And Lex might already be dead if it weren't for the meteors – Didn't Chloe say she thought that his inhumanly high white blood cell count was due to the meteors?

Wait … didn't a high WBC count mean someone was really sick?

Nah, Lex wasn't sick. In fact, he'd had asthma before the meteors, and hadn't been ill a day in his life since then. And if he was sick, well, Clark still hadn't been the one to aim the meteors at Earth.

And it wasn't as if he had any choice about lying to Lex. Hadn't Lex just today shown how untrustworthy he was? So what if he had killed Nixon to protect Clark; he'd still gone on with his own investigation.

No, there was definitely no way that anything that had happened in Smallville had been Clark's fault. His father was always telling him so, wasn't he?

But … he probably shouldn't have visited Lionel in prison. Or asked for his help in preventing Lex from recovering his memories. Which, come to think of it, had resulted in Lex having to rescue Clark. Yeah, talking to Lionel was generally a mistake. Okay, chalk that one up to experience. No more talking to Lionel. But since he had just severed his friendship with Lex, that wasn't likely to be an issue.

… Except that Lionel would still have people researching Clark, and Lex was probably the only one who could stop that. But he wasn't going to stay friends with Lex just because he needed his help. He couldn't trust Lex, and that was that. Dad has always said so, and Dad would know, after his trouble with Lionel. He had been right to refuse to let Lex bail out the farm all those times he'd offered. No matter how many times Clark and Lex had saved each other's lives, he'd just have to …

Oh, fuck.

Clark turned around and headed back to the mansion.


	3. Lex Again

Lex poured himself a large scotch, and stared at it for a while. Screw Clark anyway. Who needs this aggravation. Why does he think the world owes him everything anyway? Why did every single conflict have to end with everyone else apologizing to Clark? Did he think he was worth that much just because he had those cheekbones and pouty lips and -

And screw that entire train of thought.

Seriously, not worth the aggravation. His father had always told him friends weren't worth the risk, and he'd thought that was just the paranoia of a man who had too much to hide. Lionel was right, though; it wasn't worth it.

Lex looked at his glass and looked at the fireplace and tried to decide whether throwing his drink at the fireplace would be an overly dramatic gesture.

Deciding it wasn't overly dramatic as long as no one was watching, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Clark lurking in the doorway.

"Um... hi," Clark murmured.

"What's up, Clark? Do you have more keys to my house you forgot?"

Clark was failing to look casual by leaning against the doorway. "No, I, well, I came to say you were right, I shouldn't have listened to Lionel. I shouldn't have taken the key. I still think you should have told me about whatever you're doing in that room, but I didn't have any right to sneak in."

Was this Clark apologizing? Lex restrained himself from making a show of cleaning his ears. Sarcasm was tempting, but it wasn't really going to help. "So do you believe me?" he asked. "That I'm only looking into my own background?"

"I'm not sure," said Clark, looking at the floor. "I know you've been talking about it. But so much of what's in that room relates directly to me, I'm still not sure."

"Clark, you know I've had more than one chance to find everything out, and I chose not to. I decided a long time ago that whatever you're not telling me, you must have a good reason..." Lex shook his head slightly, showing his puzzlement. "...Or at least what seems to you like a good reason. So I have to be satisfied with that, just like you should have been satisfied that I had that room locked for a good reason. Or what seemed to me like a good reason." He caught Clark's eye at that, and they both smiled.

Clark relaxed a little, but he kept his arms folded as he came all the way into the room. Defensive body language. Well, at least he wasn't on the attack this time. "So..." he said, "you know how sometimes you find things out and then realize you were happier not knowing them?"

"Obviously I do," said Lex.

Clark grimaced. "Yeah, I guess so. Well, I have one of those things, where if I tell you you'll wish I hadn't. The only other person I've told has been Pete, and he was mad at me for a week. And since then, people have tried to beat it out of him twice; you saw what happened last time."

"So you don't want to put more people in danger. Or piss them off," said Lex. Clark nodded. "And are you telling me this because you're about to tell me everything, or are you explaining why you're not going to tell me anything?"

"I ... haven't decided yet," said Clark.

"Then can you come back when you decide? I have a lot to do to get ready for the trial - "

"I came to Earth with the meteors," said Clark.

"... what?"


	4. Clark Again

**Part Three, in which we do not quote Sting lyrics.   
**  
"Well …" said Lex, half an hour and two glasses of scotch later, "You were right about one thing; I don't think I really wanted to know."   
  
"Yeah, neither did Pete," said Clark, glumly. "But he found the spaceship, and I had to tell him before he took it to the papers."   
  
"And you've never told anyone besides Pete?"  
  
"No… but I want to tell Lana before she goes to Paris."  
  
"Why before she goes to Paris?" asked Lex. "That's a lot to drop on someone when they're about to leave town."   
  
"I'm hoping if I'm honest with her she won't leave."  
  
Lex didn't say anything for a moment, and Clark looked up to see Lex frowning into his glass. Finally Lex said, "Don't you think that's just a bit selfish? This program is a great opportunity for her."  
  
Clark felt a little indignant at that. Selfish? "I think she should have all the information before she decides," he said firmly.   
  
"She's already decided, Clark. She has the plane ticket. She sold the Talon to pay the fees. Now you want her to throw all that away for you. That's why you want to tell her. Well, it's too late for that now. If you wanted to be honest with Lana, a good time for that would have been before she dismantled her life here so she could go."   
  
Lex wasn't exactly glaring at him, but he was clearly getting angry. Well, Clark thought, at least he was getting over the shock quickly.   
  
"Look, Lana and I are meant to be together. I know it. But if she goes to Paris, I may never have another chance."  
  
Lex rolled his eyes. "Oh, spare me. Meant to be together? That's how everyone feels about their first crush."  
  
"It's not a crush!"   
  
"All right, all right, say you're meant to be together. How is a semester away from her going to change that?"   
  
"She could meet someone else."   
  
"If that happens, then she isn't 'meant' to be with you, is she?"  
  
"Yeah, but she – I don't – "Clark was too flustered and angry to speak.   
  
Apparently that was the reaction Lex was waiting for, because he reached over and patted Clark on the knee. "Let her go enjoy the semester. You'll have plenty of time to tell her when she comes back."  
  
"After all the effort you put in to helping me get close to her, now you're telling me to let her go."   
  
"Yeah, well, that was before you told me that you want to keep her here by shocking and confusing her so much that she can't do anything else."  
  
Clark slumped back in his chair. "I guess it isn't very fair to her, when you put it that way. Just promise me you're not going to fly over to Paris and steal her away from me," he said, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"What, and waste all the effort I put into getting you two together?" quipped Lex.  
  
Clark grinned at him. "Maybe you're secretly in love with her. We read 'Cyrano de Bergerac' this year, you know."   
  
"Ah, then you'll remember that Cyrano lets Christian have the girl," Lex said. "Besides, you don't really think I have so much trouble getting a date that I need you for a proxy, do you? Lots of women like bald. Lots of women who are over eighteen."   
  
Clark laughed. "You're right. And you're right that I shouldn't tell Lana about my past just to keep her here. And you were right that I should have told you sooner."   
  
"No," said Lex, "I think you were right not to tell anyone; if it got out, your family would never be left alone. But I'm glad you did finally tell me, even if it hasn't really sunk in yet. Just please tell me this is the last deep dark secret."   
  
Clark looked at the floor again.   
  
_'Oh, no,'_ Lex thought.   
  
"Um... you know those seven weeks you lost…?" 


	5. Lex Again Again

A/N: Thanks to Celtic and Jaded for beta-reading. This chapter was a lot harder to write than the previous ones.

**Chapter Four: It's still not slash, but at least I got them on the couch.   
**  
_"Um... you know those seven weeks you lost…?"  
_  
Lex didn't answer right away. This was definitely going to be worse than the alien thing. Clark glanced up at him, clearly waiting for some sort of prompt. Or permission. Yes, it had to be worse than the alien thing, which Clark had dropped on the floor like a deflated basketball.   
  
Finally, Lex said, "Go on."   
  
Clark went back to his intensive study of the carpet. "It's - See, there was this - Well, you knew. About me, I mean. You saw me use my powers, and you said you had been right about me all along."  
  
Lex sat back. "I said that? I knew you were stronger and faster than you should be, but I thought it was the effect of the meteors. I never really thought…" He shook his head. "I was in the middle of a psychotic episode, Clark. I may have had no idea what I was saying, or seeing."  
  
Clark shook his head. "No, you knew. Later when I came to visit you, you were totally lucid, and you said you hadn't told anyone about me."   
  
"But you still thought I would."   
  
"Well, like you were sort of raving."   
  
"I thought you just said I was lucid."  
  
"You were raving lucidly. I think you had stopped taking your pills."  
  
"You think I was lucid because I stopped taking my pills? Why?"   
  
"Oh – um – That's another thing," Clark stammered.   
  
"What's another thing?" Really not enough scotch in the world for this conversation.   
  
"Your psychotic break. It was drug-induced."  
  
"My father."  
  
"And Morgan Edge," agreed Clark. "It was Darius who was drugging your scotch, though; I forced him to tell me. That's when he left town."  
  
"Ah," said Lex. "A member of my own staff was drugging me into psychosis. And you didn't think I needed to know this… why, exactly?"   
  
Clark sank farther into the couch. "I wanted to tell you when I first came to see you when you got out, but it's so much, and you seemed so happy, I didn't want to dump it on you right then."  
  
"And then what, you never had another chance?"  
  
"I was afraid of what you would do if you knew about the drugs. I was afraid of what Lionel would do if he found out you knew. I thought for a while maybe everything would settle down." Clark gave a helpless shrug. "That sounds really stupid now. Things never settle down with Lionel."  
  
"I didn't realize you were quite such a master of rationalization, Clark," Lex said in a cold voice. "Let's move on to why you didn't tell me about yourself."   
  
"Well, I told you how Pete reacted, and I didn't want to go through that again. And see, there was something else." Lex waited. Clark took a breath. "When you saw me use my powers, what you actually said was, 'I was right about you all along – you're not even human.'"  
  
"Oh," said Lex.   
  
"I guess it doesn't sound like much," Clark explained, "But it was the way you said it. I thought it would be even worse with you than it was with Pete."  
  
Lex moved to the couch and sat down next to him, putting a hand on Clark's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Clark. I don't know what I was really thinking, but I'm sorry. I'm sure I wouldn't have said that if I'd been in my right mind."   
  
Clark offered a wan smile. "Well, I know that _now."_   
  
"I thought it was bad enough not remembering things that were done to me, but not remembering things I did myself… This is really a lot to take in, Clark."   
  
"I know," said Clark. "I mean, I knew it would be. It wasn't all rationalization – I knew it was too much to tell you all at once. Especially not when you were just out of the hospital."  
  
"You may have been right. At first, anyway. Although, if you knew that my psychosis was induced, then you knew it wasn't going to drive me around the bend or anything."   
  
"Psychosis induced by drugs is still psychosis," Clark pointed out. "Just because they were out of your system doesn't mean the experience wasn't still affecting you."  
  
"Hmm. And was that your rationalization at the time, or did you just come up with that off-the-cuff?"  
  
"Off-the-cuff," admitted Clark.   
  
Lex snorted. "Not bad; you've definitely had a lot of practice with that. But then," he added sardonically, "I already knew that."   
  
"Lex, I'm telling you now, aren't I? I can't go back in time and undo everything! I can be straight with you from here on, but that's all I can do."   
  
Clark's voice was cracking. Lex felt his throat tightening too, but he forced himself to speak steadily. "There's still one more thing," he said, bracing himself. "You tried to get my father to stop me from recovering my memories. Was that to protect your own secret?"  
  
"That procedure could have killed you!" Clark protested.   
  
"Maybe. But if it hadn't been a risk to your secret, would you have still tried to stop me?"  
  
"Of course I would have! Don't you know how you looked when you were going through that? Anyone who'd known would have tried to stop you."   
  
"Would you have gone to my father? My father, who you knew was ready to kill me rather than let me remember anything?"  
  
"I - "  
  
"You knew what he did to me, Clark. You were there."   
  
Clark started to answer, then stopped, then tried again. "I… No, I wouldn't have gone to him."   
  
Lex moved away from him a bit. He'd known Clark hadn't wanted him to regain his memories. He had thought he wanted to know why. Now he couldn't decide if he felt any better knowing. No, he didn't, because until now he'd been telling himself that Lionel had been lying, that Clark hadn't really gone to Lionel for help. Now he knew it was true.   
  
"All right," he said, more to himself than to Clark. "All right. Clark, I'm going to need some time to think about this."   
  
"Yeah," said Clark, "I know." He stood and left the room, head down, not looking back.


End file.
